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Below are the 2 most recent journal entries.

	2008.08.22  12.06 Depressed I was fourteen, I think, when I first hurt myself. All the stress of school, and being yelled at, listening to other people be yelled at.... I was done... I was tired, and felt trapped. I was in my room, the first time I hurt myself. Supposedly, I was doing history work, or science, or maybe even literature. I don't know. My mom was downstairs on the phone. Talking to someone. I had my bedroom door open, and listened. The only thing that really caught my attention, were these two little words. Catholic School. I snapped. Visions of it passed through my mind. School uniforms, the holy bible, nun's with rulers, curcifixs. I grabbed the first sharp thing in reach. A safety pin. Silver, with a sharp point. Up and down. I drew lines on my left arm. Smooth, straight lines. From elbow to wrist. Back and forth. Up and down. Over and over. The pain wasn't what I thought it would be. It was a cold heat, a slight burning sensation that dragged me back to earth.... That was the first time I hurt myself.... The last time I hurt myself... I was sitting in the passenger seat of my cousins car. She was pumping gas. I took a safety pin off of my shirt, peeled back a glove, and drew more lines. Up and down. Up and down. Earlier that week, Raven said she could see them. I couldn't see them. The lines, that everyone else could see... were invisible to me. That was the last time I hurt myself. Only a week. I hurt myself for a week. With a safety pin.... Then, my mom mentioned it. We went to see the doctor. "You're not alone," He said. 'I know that.' I thought. 'There are others who do the same thing." He told me. "Yes... I know two others who do it too... but I can't, won't, tell you that.' "Lots of people go through periods in their lives, like the one you're going through right now." 'And they get medicated to 'fix' the problem. They talk to people who don't care to listen, about every little problem in their lives. People get paid to listen and give advice they don't believe in. But yes. There are lots of people like me. One little blemish in the perfection that is humanity. One of many.' Then came the therapist. "Would you be okay with going on anti-depressants?" "No." 'If I can't be happy on my own, I'm not meant to be fucking happy.' "Do you want to be here?" 'Do I look like I want to be here?' "Not really." "Would you like to talk about anything?" 'Not to you.' "I don't like to talk much." "How's school." 'I don't want to talk about school. Please don't make me talk about school. Anything but school.' "It's... not so good." "What's the problem with it?" 'None of your business.' "I don't want to talk about it." Then I was fixed. Three weeks. She'd give a question. I'd write a reply, and bring it in. She'd talk, I'd nod. I was okay. I was fixed. Without medication. Without anti-depressants. Mood: melancholy

	2008.08.21  13.12 Wow... Wow... I just started this journal thingy....for who knows what reason. Probably because I like the site's name... Insane Journal... It just sounds cool. Bwa. ^^ So, a little bit about moi. Well.... I'm eighteen.... want to go back to being three. I originally thought four, cause that was a good year for me, but I don't like fours. Bad luck.  Shi is Japanese for four. And for death. So it's like.... not a good number.... I also don't like 2, or 8. I guess because they both have to do with four... I like 3 though. It's my lucky number. I was born on the third you know. Lucky me. ^^ 1/3/1990. I feel special. Yay me!! *claps* What else? My favorite color is this weird blue-ish green color. Aquaish... Minty. Which is weird since I hate mint with a passion. Damned if I don't like the color. Fucking color. Love it. Hate it. Damn... My favorite animal is the wolf! Yet, I'm strangely best with cats... go figure? Maybe there's some weird conection? Like.... my spirit animal is some... weird, half-cat, half wolf creature? The bastard child of Wolf-Man and Cat-Woman! ... Creepy. Music? Heh. Do you have to ask? I could go on for hours about my favorite music... yet I can't tell you anything about the people who sing/play it, other than their names... sometimes. Right now, I'm into Alternative Rock. Woo! My family just moved to West Grove. This... shitty little town in PA... Okay, I love it. I call it shitty, but I love it. There's a library nearby. My inner bookish-worm creature adores it. Could do without the smell, but could be so much worse. Heh... I'm supposedly babysitting.... as I sit here.... playing on the computer. I want to go swimming. But you know... the whole 'baby sitting' thing is getting in the way. Granted, I'm quickly deciding that Joey is not actually a human baby of six weeks, but is really a strange changeling child determined to drive me and my grandmother(BAD GRAMMAR ALERT) out of our minds. He's doing a good job. I'm thinking of doing a video blog... who knows. There are so many of those out there. Lol, maybe. It could be a good way of me getting over that whole... low-self esteem thing I have going. Course, it could also make that worse. Maybe I'll try it out later? Who knows. Bet no one cares. Wow. Sense my emo-ness? Soon, I'll be dying my hair black, super gluing it into spikes, cutting myself, staying up all night and bleaching my skin. You know, to get that uber cool emo-look of the  century. Fear me preps. I am Emo Queen Of Insomniac Eye Shadow. I will sick my evil black nail polish trolls and orges of attention-grabbers on you. Ooooo... aren't I scary, sad and pathetic? Okay...well... that's.. like all I got right now. Enjoy. As it sits collecting dust, cause no one gives a shit. I mean, I don't, why should you? Mood: bored Music: Screaming bebe